Sixpipes
07-05-2006, 11:49 AM
Before Ronald shows up and says Snopes says this really didn't happen, I want you all to know that I really don't give a flying **** what Snopes says....
Remember the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here is a true life example from the University of Phoenix. An English
Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that quickly
degraded - check it out...
”Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The
first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to
keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The
story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. ”Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress
Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first
of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed
the unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had
left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the
treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort o f F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm
such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
(Rebecca)
-
*******.
(Gary)
Bitch.
(Rebecca)
Get screwed.
(Gary)
Eat ****.
(Rebecca)
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary)
GO DRINK SOME TEA BITCH.
************************************************** ***************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.
Remember the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well, here is a true life example from the University of Phoenix. An English
Professor assigned his students to a joint writing exercise that quickly
degraded - check it out...
”Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person
sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a
short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The
first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back and forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to
keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the
e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The
story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(First paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
the question.
(Second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about
than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he
had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator. ”Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and
blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who
had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress
Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract
her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first
of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed
the unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had
left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the
treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort o f F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm
such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
(Rebecca)
-
*******.
(Gary)
Bitch.
(Rebecca)
Get screwed.
(Gary)
Eat ****.
(Rebecca)
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
(Gary)
GO DRINK SOME TEA BITCH.
************************************************** ***************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.