Joke Time

[TXLIGHTNING]

My GF emailed me this, I thought it was damn funny.
DUI - TEXAS STYLE

Only a person in Texas could think of this.

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true
story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin ,
Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer
quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys
on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into
it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and
drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine,
dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times,
honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes
As some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up
his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and
administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had
consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
police station.

This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated
decoy."

[charlie]

:rll::rll::rll::rll::bows:tu:

[bluesvt]

:rll: :bows

[wesman]

lol..heard that one before....pretty darn funny :evil:evil

[TXLIGHTNING]

Good idea if you ask me :evil

[Lyfisin]

A man rushed into the veterinarian’s office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog’s still, limp body and sadly informed the man that his dog was dead.

The man tells the vet his dog can't be dead and he wants a second opinion.

The vet walks into the back and brings out a cat. He drops the cat near the dog and the cat hisses and spits and scratches the dog and even bites the dog's leg. The cat looks at the vet and says "Meow!" and the vet tells the customer the cat says his dog is dead.

The customer still doesn't believe it and insists on a third opinion.

So the vet takes the cat back and brings a Labrador Retriever from the back room. The lab sniffs the man's dog and pushes on it a few times with it's nose and digs at it with it's paws. The lab turn to the vet and says "Ruff!" One more time, the vet tells the man that his dog is dead.

The man is distraught and thanks the vet for his time to which the vet informs him that the bill for the visit is $400.00.

"$400.00!" the man screams. "$400.00 to tell me my dog is dead! That's outrageous!"

"Well," the vet says. "My cost was only $50.00 but the cat scan was $200 and the lab work was $150."

ßm

[danielvalles1]

DWI that decoy was grate i might try that some day, see mom i learn somthing everyday:D