Joke

[L8 APEX]

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he is on the run, he finds a house and breaks into it. Looking for money and guns, he only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, gets up and then goes to the bathroom. While he's in there the husband tells his wife: " Listen, this is an escaped prisoner, look at his cloths!! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and he hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. The guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us! Be strong honey. I love you!" To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He whispered in my ear. He told me he was gay and thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong Honey, I love you too."

[LonghornLightning]

:rll: :rll:

[my2002lightning]

Good one! :D

Here's another:

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and
said,"I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a
couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with t#tties like yours, my wife appears
out of nowhere".

:rll:

[UUDLOSE]

:rll: Good ones! Here's one -

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the guys." I told
my wife that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the drinks went down way too easy. Around
3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the
cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,
realizing my wife would probably wakeup, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible
conflict with her.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her
midnight. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Then she said, "We need a new
cuckoo clock"

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, "Oh. s**t.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the dog and farted.

[QIK KAT]

:rll: :rll: :rll: Those are pretty good, Especialy the 3rd one. I think I've been in that dog house before:evil

[my2002lightning]

:d :beer:

I found another along the same lines:

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!

His friend looks at him and says, "It's all in the attitude, buddy. You're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the front door, storm up the steps, throw my clothes on the floor, jump naked into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'WHO'S FEELING FRISKY?' and she acts like she's sound asleep every time.

:D

[blueoval01]

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her
midnight. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Then she said, "We need a new
cuckoo clock"

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, "Oh. s**t.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the dog and farted. :rll::rll::rll::rll::rll: THAT deserves 5 "Stars". Just too funny.

[blueoval01]

His friend looks at him and says, "It's all in the attitude, buddy. You're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the front door, storm up the steps, throw my clothes on the floor, jump naked into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'WHO'S FEELING FRISKY?' and she acts like she's sound asleep every time.

:D Now, I can relate to that one ..... :rll::rll::rll::rll::rll:
5 stars again ...... :D