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View Full Version : SALE: New TALON battery clamp helper



sonicbluetommy
10-12-2004, 01:55 AM
As the title says: NEW ITEM!!! Guaranteed to get your truck into the high 11's in the 1/4 mile (with additional power adders)!

Made out of the highest quality #1 grade acid absorbant pine (no regular #2 house grade knotty stuff used in the manufacturing of this high grade item).

Tooled by the highest quality human knee. (Do to the age of this tool only one clamp per week can be made. The tool gets rather bit**y if it is overused.).

This item has been fully tested in race situations (have timeslips to verify sub 12 second 1/4 mile pass(with additional power adders)) and has passed tech inspection at an NHRA approved facility by a TALON member.

Item is guaranteed to last the life of your truck or until the original tooling used to manufacture said item passes away (or is killed by an angry cop). It is NOT guaranteed against termites, fire, theft by other jealous L owners, or splinters.

If you would like one of this item (noted above: quantities are limited to 1 per week) call 1-800-bnd-over, leave a number where you can be reached. An unidentified person will return your call giving you a time (it will be after dark) to bring $1200 CASH ONLY!!!! (That is CHEAP for sub 12 sec. mod!(with additional power adders)) to the K-mart in Oak Cliff for the exchange. Do not be alarmed by the ski mask, it only protects the guilty.


No injuries occured from the/or to the tooling (except a little bruising), live trees (we only use dead trees), or Lightning said item was installed on. Do to how quick said item has made this truck 11's (with additional power adders) the truck and owner will be kept confidential to prevent theft of said item.

Company will not be responsible for any splinters to installer or pine tar left by said item.

No rubber chickens were harmed in the manufacture, installation, or testing of said item.


Installed pic of battery clamp helper:
http://www.svtgalleries.net/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=12413&sort=1&cat=500&page=3

Silver_2000
10-12-2004, 08:17 AM
http://www.svtgalleries.net/gallery/data/500/599PICT00721-med.JPG

Im confused....

03LightningRocks
10-12-2004, 10:43 AM
http://www.svtgalleries.net/gallery/data/500/599PICT00721-med.JPG

Im confused....

Me Too:confused: .

my2002lightning
10-12-2004, 11:36 AM
I believe Tommy's referring to Uncle Rock's one-off battery retainer.:D

http://www.windsor-edmonton.com/images/Ply_Lumber_pics/spruce.jpg

Silver_2000
10-12-2004, 11:40 AM
Is it in the picture ??

Tex Arcana
10-12-2004, 01:54 PM
TIMMAY's hit the crack-pipe one too mant times today... here's the pic:

http://www.svtgalleries.net/gallery/data/500/599PICT0086.JPG
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/texarcana/SMiles/timmay.jpg

Shiner1
10-12-2004, 01:56 PM
I got a look at Rock's custom battery clamp at the meeting...It adds that little touch of WT. :rll:
Does that pass tech?

Doug,
It was in the picture, until it burned up.....:d

sonicbluetommy
10-12-2004, 03:01 PM
TIMMAY's hit the crack-pipe one too mant times today... here's the pic:
hit it just today?!?!?!-----nah...........it was ALL WEEKEND!!!!!!
:banana: :tu: :banana: :tu: :banana:

03LightningRocks
10-12-2004, 04:01 PM
Does that pass tech?



Yes it does.....I am thinking about offering them in custom colors:D .

cpeapea
10-12-2004, 08:11 PM
what about the duct tape on the radiator cover:rll: jk Ron

L1nt2B
10-12-2004, 08:34 PM
my yellow top came with the retaining clips for the stock clamp :confused:

03LightningRocks
10-12-2004, 09:50 PM
my yellow top came with the retaining clips for the stock clamp :confused:

So did mine, but I thought those clamps looked GAY. So I through them out and went with the custom molded "wood" mod.

You and I are alot alike when it comes to the extremes we will go, for that special "bling look".

I received your P.M. about wanting the mod and I will get to work on yours right away:tu: .



Rocks:cool:

03LightningRocks
10-12-2004, 09:55 PM
what about the duct tape on the radiator cover:rll: jk Ron

Ahhhh..........Duct Tape. I feel pretty strong that without duct tape, civilization as we know it would cease to exist.


Rocks:cool:

Tex Arcana
10-12-2004, 10:27 PM
what about the duct tape on the radiator cover:rll: jk Ron

I missed that!! OMFG... nex thing you know, he's gonna put SPINNAZ on that truck!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/texarcana/SMiles/spinnaz.gif

FRDRCING
10-12-2004, 10:51 PM
If wood is going to hold the battery in place and duct tape on the radiator then wood is to follow on the bed cover as well. This for sure is redneck :rll: