A Christmas Tale

[03LightningRocks]

The Focking Night Before Christmas,

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Everybody felt shitty -- even the mouse.
Mom at the Whorehouse and Dad smoking grass;
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick.
I knew in a moment: it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fat focker fell.
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick, for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew the chimny apart.
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
"Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!"


I found this at a web sight. I wanted to Sharehttp://www.talonclub.com/forum/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

[L1nt2B]

:rll: rubber dick for my brother the queer

[FRDRCING]

T'was the night before Rice War'z and caught at the light,
was a big bad Ford Lightnin' and no cops in sight,

I will try, I will try, I will try with this small little motor,
To beat this bad trucker even with it's jumbo sized blower,

As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Lightnin' erupts in clouds of tire smoke,

Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzen,
These are the names of my of my four VTEC Pistons,

Racing ahead I'm the Star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that Black Truck gets Traction,

Slamming into second, I hear the RPM sing,
My mirroris blocked by my Top Fuel Dragster wing,

I now hear the roar, of that 'Charged' monster gaining,
And all I can do is keep my four-banger straining,

In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now, a thing of the past,

Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool , like you can relate,

Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just enough to give me a holler,



"You can't win them all," he says with a wink,